Thursday, July 5, 2012

I can’t do this….

Last night, I did something that I have not done in quite some time. I went to bed feeling sick.  No, I did not have the beginnings of a virus. I was literally sick because I had eaten too much food.

Yesterday, my mother-in-law hosted a barbeque for our family, my parents, and a few close family friends.  Normally, I would have prepared a few items that I knew where healthier and would satisfy my appetite so that I would not be tempted to over indulge on the not so healthy options.  But I spent the morning playing with my daughter, working out with my hubby, and just relaxing. I figured that I would be able to make it thru the barbeque.  Wrong.

Between failing to eat breakfast, eating a tiny lunch, and the intense work out session prior to – I was starving by the time the BBQ rolled around.  I inhaled half a pack of Chip Ahoy cookies before the burgers were done, then two hot dogs with all the trimmings, followed by a plate full of chips and dip, and then ice cream.  Mid-way thru my second hot dog, I felt my body telling me I was full. But my head kept telling me to eat – so I did. Shortly thereafter, came the sick feeling, and suddenly I felt as though I was back to my ED days.

As I lay in bed, praying for my stomach pains to ease, I asked the Lord “Why can’t I do this?”.  And while there was no audible voice, my spirit heard “Because you are placing all your trust in yourself. You must trust me.”

Philippians 4:13

13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.


This verse, which Paul wrote in a letter to the church at Philippi, does not mean that as a believer in Jesus I can do anything that I want to do.  It means that if Christ is allowed to work thru me, then I can achieve any task set before me.  I think this is true of my goal of getting healthy. 

Does God really care about your weight?

No, God is not concerned with the number that appears on my scale.

 1 Samuel 16:7 says

“ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

If God does not care about what you weight, why this post?

My body is the temple of the Holy Sprit. 

In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, I am told

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.


My overeating is not glorifying God and as a result it is of concern to my Heavenly Father. Up to this point, I have placed my trust in my own ability to work out, prepare healthy foods, and make good choices.  But that did not get me very far.  Going forward, I have to place my trust in God as I travel this journey to a healthy me.

So how do you do that, Kim?

1. Begin each morning asking the Lord to fill me with His strength as I go throughout my day. Ask the Heavenly Father to empower me to make good choices for my body and my health.

2. Read the daily devotions from “Fit For My King” by Sherri Rose Shepherd.  I bought this book at a woman’s conference nearly 2 months ago. At the time, I did not fully understand why I was buying it, I was "healthy”.  Now, I can see that God was leading me to this book, which uses Biblical truth to show me how to use my journey to health to bring glory to God.

3. Pray/Quote Scripture when faced with temptation.  Normally, when I would have the urge to reach into the candy dish or have that 3rd piece of pie, I would drink a glass of water and walk around my office.  Now, when those urges come, I will first pray, then find a scripture to quote…..then drink the water and take a walk.

I struggled to write this post. I was ashamed to share my failure. Then I was worried that my talk of God would offend those of you reading this blog.  However, this is my blog, my story, my journey, and I have to be true to who I am and what I believe.  And so, with prayer and God’s guidance, I poured my heart out and shared my story.  Perhaps my words will be of help or comfort to someone else. If nothing else, I know that I feel renewed.


  1. you are not a failure Kim <3 we all have moments like these. It is important that you shared this. Please be proud of yourself and I am here for support

    1. Meg - Thank you so much for your sweet words, your support and above all your friendship.